my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
