Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
