youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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