i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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