Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We had to coat check the pizza.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
