I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
In America we eat man semen.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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