so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
