it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
