I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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