Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
