census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize