I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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