But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize