i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
