dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
