I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he fucked my hip out of place.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
