There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
