i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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