wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
