Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
