oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
