Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
