Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
