Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
