My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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