I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
