Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
