im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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