Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I've blown a few things in my day
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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