you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
