So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
