At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Let's get the cat blown out
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
