Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize