Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
