I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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