Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We are two peas in an std pod
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
