The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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