Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
