i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
