so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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