Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
