my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
