i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
