she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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