Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
