Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
