Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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