fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
