whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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