your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize