The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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