What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
