I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
