JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize