My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
