there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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