Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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