He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
