I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
