I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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