Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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