He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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