After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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