does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
