so that wasnt chicken after all
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I don't deserve a penis
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
i out mim tonsoeep
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