I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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