PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
