You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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