i don't plan on having that self control this summer
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
