your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
