We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
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