'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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