dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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