I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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