His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I want to make a zoo with you.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
